Review of Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix by J.K. Rowling

Series: Harry Potter #5
Genres: Fantasy, Magic
Pages: 800
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Release Date: 21/06/2003
Find The Author: (Website / Twitter)
Find The Book: Book Depository / AbeBooks UK / US
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Dark times have come to Hogwarts. After the Dementors' attack on his cousin Dudley, Harry Potter knows that Voldemort will stop at nothing to find him. There are many who deny the Dark Lord's return, but Harry is not alone: a secret order gathers at Grimmauld Place to fight against the Dark forces. Harry must allow Professor Snape to teach him how to protect himself from Voldemort's savage assaults on his mind. But they are growing stronger by the day and Harry is running out of time...

 

I can't write a 'proper' review of Harry Potter. I'm 26, so when Harry Potter was released I was right at the age it was marketed towards. I remember starting to notice the hype around Harry Potter when the third book was released (I was 8) and I bought all three books for my holiday. I didn't have a great childhood to be honest and these books were very much my escape. I would beg and beg to get a copy on the release date and my Gran would literally have to fight crowds to get them, I've never seen so much hype around any other book since. So basically, I can't review something that was my entire childhood - here's everything I loved during this re-read (the rating for this one is lower, explained above) instead (also I'm presuming that you've read the book, so potential spoilers)

•  Harry giving Fred and George his Triwizard winnings - it was wonderful to see something so happy come out of such a tragedy.
• 'Listening to the news,' said Harry in a resigned voice. His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage. 'Listening to the news! Again?' 'Well, it changes every day, you see,' said Harry.
• It took me 15 years to get that Grimmauld Place means Grim Old Place and on top of that, Trelawney kept calling Sirius The Grim.
• 'Kreacher lives to serve the Noble House of Black -' 'And it's getting blacker every day, it's filthy,' said Sirius.
• Just how related everyone is in this is crazy.
• Tonk's constant clumsiness is something I can 100% relate to.
• Mrs Weasley attacking Harry's hair with a wet comb. I'm almost convinced that my daughter is somehow related, I can never get her hair to lie flat.
• Mr Weasley being delighted that the stile swallowed his ticket - I'd love to go shopping with him and show him all the Muggle things.
• 'Ron held up his badge. Mrs Weasley let out a shriek just like Hermione's. 'I don't believe it! I don't believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!' 'What are Fred and I, next door neighbours?' said George indignantly...'
• Sirius in dog form, chasing pigeons and his own tail.
• 'You see I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments.' 'Yeah,' said Harry, 'but you, unlike me, are a git, so get out and leave us alone.'
• McGonagall aggressively forcing biscuits on Harry after finding out he had a go at Umbridge.
• BOWTRUCKLES! I remember seeing one in FBAWTFT.
• 'Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher,' said Harry loudly, 'there was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head.'
• '...two figures shrouded in hoods sat at a table in one of the windows; Harry might have thought them Dementors if they had not been talking in strong Yorkshire accents.' MY PEOPLE
• Ginny being a rather excellent Quidditch player
• 'He never managed to get all the words out,' said Fred, 'due to the fact that we forced him head-first into that Vanishing Cabinet on the first floor' - *screeching noises* *aggressive pointing* IT'S THE BLOODY CABINET
• McGonagall's constant shade to Umbridge is everything.
• 'Hagrid gave a great sniff and patted Harry wordlessly on the shoulder with such force Harry was knocked sideways into a tree.'
• 'I doubt it,' shouted tiny Professor Marchbanks, 'not if Dumbledore doesn't want to be found! I should know... examined him personally in Tranfiguration and Charms when he did N.E.W.T.s...' - How bloody old is this woman
• 'Well, we were always going to fail that one,' said Ron gloomily as they ascended the marble staircase. He had just made Harry feel rather better by telling him how he had told the examiner in detail about the ugly man with a wart on his nose in his crystal ball, only to look up and realise he had been describing his examiner's reflection. 

 

Review of Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire by J.K. Rowling

Series: Harry Potter
Genres: Fantasy, Magic
Pages: 617
Publisher:Bloomsbury
Release Date: 08/07/2000
Find The Author: (Website / Twitter)
Find The Book: Book Depository / AbeBooks UK / US
Add To Your Goodreads Shelf

The Triwizard Tournament is to be held at Hogwarts. Only wizards who are over seventeen are allowed to enter - but that doesn't stop Harry dreaming that he will win the competition. Then at Hallowe'en, when the Goblet of Fire makes its selection, Harry is amazed to find his name is one of those that the magical cup picks out. He will face death-defying tasks, dragons and Dark wizards, but with the help of his best friends, Ron and Hermione, he might just make it through - alive! The Triwizard Tournament is to be held at Hogwarts. Only wizards who are over seventeen are allowed to enter - but that doesn't stop Harry dreaming that he will win the competition. Then at Hallowe'en, when the Goblet of Fire makes its selection, Harry is amazed to find his name is one of those that the magical cup picks out. He will face death-defying tasks, dragons and Dark wizards, but with the help of his best friends, Ron and Hermione, he might just make it through - alive!

 
I can't write a 'proper' review of Harry Potter. I'm 26, so when Harry Potter was released I was right at the age it was marketed towards. I remember starting to notice the hype around Harry Potter when the third book was released (I was 8) and I bought all three books for my holiday. I didn't have a great childhood to be honest and these books were very much my escape. I would beg and beg to get a copy on the release date and my Gran would literally have to fight crowds to get them, I've never seen so much hype around any other book since. So basically, I can't review something that was my entire childhood - here's everything I loved during this re-read (the rating for this one is lower, explained above) instead (also I'm presuming that you've read the book, so potential spoilers)

• Pigwidgeon being described as a fluffy snitch. I've held an owl that looked just like the Pig from the movies and they truly are the smallest things.
• "picturing Dumbledore, with his long silver beard, full-length wizard's robes and pointed hat, stretched out on a beach somewhere, rubbing suntan lotion into his long crooked nose."
• Mr Weasley trying to fix the Dursley's fireplace after realising that travelling via floo powder to a boarded up fireplace was a terrible idea
• Mr Weasley not understanding why the Dursleys wouldn't want to say goodbye to their nephew
• "It suddenly occured to Harry how odd this would look if a Muggle were to walk up here now... nine people, two grown men, clutching this manky old boot in the semi-darkness..." Sounds like a typical Friday night round here if you ask me
• My favourite ever Harry Potter character: "One of them was a very old wizard who was wearing a long flowery nightgown. The other was clearly a Ministry wizard; he was holding out a pair of pinstriped trousers and almost crying with exasperation. 'Just put them on, Archie, there's a good chap, you can't walk around like that, the Muggle on the gate's already getting suspicious -' 'I bought this in a Muggle shop,' said the old wizard stubbornly. 'Muggles wear them.' 'Muggle women wear them, Archie, not the men, they wear these,' said the Ministry wizard, and he brandished the pinstriped trousers. 'I'm not putting them on,' said old Archie in indignation. 'I like a healthy breeze around my privates, thanks."
• 'Vell, ve fought bravely,' said a gloomy voice behind Harry. He looked around, it was Bulgarian Minister For Magic. 'You can speak English!' said Fudge, sounding outraged. 'And you've been letting me mime everything all day!' 'Vell, it vos very funny,' said the Bulgarian Minister, shrugging.
• Stan Shunpike trying to chat up the Veela. Later books never really clarified what happened to him.
• Professor McGonagall slipping on a wet patch and nearly strangling Hermione in the process.
• Dumbledore attempting to tell potentially dirty jokes before being stopped by McGonagall.
• Lavender Brown - 'Oh, Professor, look! I think I've got an unaspected planet! Oooh, which one's that, Professor?' 'It is Uranus, my dear,' said Professor Trelawney, peering down at the chart. 'Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?' said Ron.
• Fred and George trying to fool the Goblet of Fire and ending up looking like Dumbledore's cousins.
• 'Did you put your name into the Goblet of Fire, Harry?' Dumbledore asked CALMLY.
• The lake sea monster thingy eating toast.
• Hagrid trying out his French - at least we can work out what he meant by 'Bong-Sewer'.
• That there's a book called 'Men Who Love Dragons Too Much'
• 'The bell was due to ring at any moment, and Harry and Ron, who had been having a sword fight with a couple of Fred and George's fake wans at the back of the class, looked up, Ron now holding a tin parrot, and Harry, a rubber haddock.
• The suits of armour being bewitched to sing carols at anyone who passes them. - 'It was quite something to hear 'Oh Come, All Ye Faithful' sung by an empty helmet that only knew half the words.
• Harry being an ungrateful git and not appreciating Dobby's Christmas gift of knitted socks.
• 'You don't think anything that Skeeter cow - sorry Professor,' he added quickly, looking at Dumbledore. 'I have gone temporarily deaf and haven't any idea what you said, Harry, said Dumbledore, twiddling his thumbs and staring at the ceiling.
• Dumbledore speaking mermish
• The Lestranges being a married couple but lets forget that to shove in the terrible plot device in Cursed Child I'm not bitter
• Sirius being called Snuffles
• Voldemort's wand light was green, while Harry's in red - Slytherin and Gryffindor.

 

Review of Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling

Series: Harry Potter #3
Genres: Fantasy, Magic
Pages: 462
Publisher:Bloomsbury
Release Date: 08/06/1999
Find The Author: (Website / Twitter)
Find The Book: Book Depository / AbeBooks UK / US
Add To Your Goodreads Shelf

When the Knight Bus crashes through the darkness and screeches to a halt in front of him, it's the start of another far from ordinary year at Hogwarts for Harry Potter. Sirius Black, escaped mass-murderer and follower of Lord Voldemort, is on the run - and they say he is coming after Harry. In his first ever Divination class, Professor Trelawney sees an omen of death in Harry's tea leaves... But perhaps most terrifying of all are the Dementors patrolling the school grounds, with their soul-sucking kiss... 

 

I chose to rate this one lower because to be honest it was a bit of a mess and then the ending was basically "now this person has arrived!". The time-turner was genius but made me realise just how much Hermione was basically written as "likes studying" and little else. She needs some serious character development.

I can't write a 'proper' review of Harry Potter. I'm 26, so when Harry Potter was released I was right at the age it was marketed towards. I remember starting to notice the hype around Harry Potter when the third book was released (I was 8) and I bought all three books for my holiday. I didn't have a great childhood to be honest and these books were very much my escape. I would beg and beg to get a copy on the release date and my Gran would literally have to fight crowds to get them, I've never seen so much hype around any other book since. So basically, I can't review something that was my entire childhood - here's everything I loved during this re-read (the rating for this one is lower, explained above) instead (also I'm presuming that you've read the book, so potential spoilers) 

• Just how jealous I am that Harry got an essay titled "Witch-Burning in the Fourteenth Century Was Completely Pointless - discuss." because I already have an ENTIRE PAGE I could write about that.
• "Wendelin the Weird enjoyed burning so much that she allowed herself to be caught no fewer than forty-seven times in various disguises."
• Harry picking the lock to his cupboard which must have meant that Fred and George taught him, a scene I desperately need to read.
• The Weasleys going on holiday was just adorable.
• The pocket sneakoscope lighting up and me screeching "IT'S THE GODDAMN RAT" only every single time
• "Harry followed Tom up a handsome wooden staircase..." I've literally never seen a staircase described as handsome before but I feel like if Gaston was turned into the Beast's furniture this would be him right?
• P.S. After reading Harry's future thoughts about Tom and his handsomeness I can only conclude that the wooden staircase was some sort of euphemism...
• P.P.S. I'm making a dick joke 
• Harry's mirror throwing shade at his general appearance
• The Monster Book Of Monsters in the cage basically recreating Robot Wars in paper
• Just Crookshanks in general 
• "Percy, however, held out his hand solemnly as though he and Harry had never met and said, 'Harry. How nice to see you.' 'Hello, Percy,' said Harry, trying not to laugh. 'I hope you're well?' said Percy pompously, shaking hands. It was rather like being introduced to the mayor. 'Very well, thanks -' 'Harry!' said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. 'Simply spendid to see you old boy -' 'Marvellous,' said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. 'Absolutely spiffing.' Percy scowled. 'Mum!' said Fred, as though he'd only just spotted her, and seized her hand, too. 'How really corking to see you-' 'I said, that's enough,' said Mrs Weasley."
• The use of said is way overdone in these books but I can forgive.
• 'Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher, retired at the end of last year in order to enjoy more time with his remaining limbs.'
• "He hardly heard what Professor McGonagall was telling them about Animagi (wizards who could transform at will into animals)" Harry how the fuck do you catch a snitch you can't see what's right in front of your stupid face most days
• Professor McGonagall getting miffed because no-one applauded when she turned into a cat
• Snape getting the entire class to learn about werewolves because he's a shady bitch

• Diggory wanting a rematch after he realised that Harry fell because he's a precious bean and deserves many blankets
• Dumbledore wearing a large pointed witches hat topped with a stuffed vulture because he just bloody loves hats
• 'Professor Severus Snape, master of this school' Snape hun you're getting ahead of yourself a little bit
• Hermione straight up smacking Draco in the face
• Hermione saying everything shrilly
• 'YOU CHEATING SCUM!' Lee Jordan was howling into the megaphone, dancing out of Professor McGonagall's reach. 'YOU FILTHY, CHEATING B-' Professor McGonagall didn't even bother to tell him off."  wow strongest word in Potter yet
• Professor McGonagall sobbing over a Quidditch match win and wiping her eyes on an enormous Griffindor flag
• the giant squid in general
• Dumbledore on Trelawney 'That brings her total number of predictions up to two.' and Harry NEVER BOTHERING TO ASK WHAT THE FIRST ONE WAS

 

Many Covers Monday: Why Are The UK Harry Potter Covers So... Spoilery?

Spoilers. Obviously. In fact let's do this whole post as if we were CinemaSins on Youtube.

The UK Harry Potter book covers are my favourite, they're colourful, exciting and the art completely captures my vision of Harry Potter. There's just one problem.. Huge, HUGE spoilers.

What does this spoil? Well, absolutely nothing. This cover is great!

What does this spoil? WHAT DOESN'T THIS SPOIL. As you must know at the end of the book it's revealed that the culprit is a giant basilisk *ding* which Harry finds in the Chamber of Secrets when he's looking for Ginny (who you can see in the background so *ding*. He defeats the Basilisk when Fawkes *ding* chucks the sorting hat at him *ding* and he pulls a sword out of it *ding ding ding*

What does this spoil? Well the majority of this book involves Harry trying to defeat the Dementors by producing a fully formed patronus *ding*. When he's lying across the lake being attacked by Dementors he sees his Dad produce a stag patronus *ding* which we later discover was actually Harry, after he went back in time *ding*. It's actually a real shame the cover spoils what form the patronus will take.

What does this spoil? Compared to the previous two this one isn't too bad but it does spoil the entire first challenge *ding* AND the fact that Harry completes it using his broom *ding*

What does this spoil? At least this one isn't immediately obvious what is spoilery and likely any reader will not notice until after reading BUT this does spoil Harry's trip on the Thestrals *ding* that doesn't happen until about 80% into the book (which at 800 pages is pretty bloody far) plus it shows that he has quite a bit of company too *ding*

What does this spoil? basically the scene that's in the last 70% of the book where Harry teams up with Dumbledore *ding* to try and retrieve the Horcrux *ding*. Attacked by inferi (ZOMBIES), Dumbledore throws fire at them via his wand *ding*.

What does this spoil? Well I was going to give this one a free pass because if you didn't expect an epic Potter/Voldy showdown at the end of the series you're MAD. MAD I TELL YOU. However this does giveaway the location of the meeting *ding*

Spoilers: 18
Sentence: DETENTION. OR WORSE, EXPELLED.

Many Covers Monday - ALL THE HARRY POTTER SERIES

After it was not so recently revealed that the classic, original covers were to go out of print and replaced with new, shiny covers, I thought I'd do something crazy this Monday. Harry Potter. But not the first book, no! This Monday I'm showcasing... entire sets of the books. Cool, but a lot of work. And a lot of tabs.

These won't just be the covers you know and love, I've included international sets of the books too, which I've never seen before. Not all of the covers are here, but most of them are.

(Ignore the random pattern for the last image. I wanted to tile them right)

(This post was originally posted back in 2014 and since I'm re-reading the whole series I thought I might as well go for a full Harry Potter week on my blog by sharing my most popular post with new cover sets added.

UK - these are the new covers revealed by Bloomsbury recently. These are my favourite covers, I wasn't impressed initially but the amazing covers won my over. However these covers are REALLY SPOILERY.

US - The original Scholastic covers. Some reprints may have sneaked in here, but the art is all the same. It seems in America they were content with just changing the font colour every so often, whereas in the UK you could walk into a single bookstore and pick out three very different covers. We even had 'adult editions'! I really like these covers. They're not spoilery but very eye catching and I love that the art seems to get better with age. Although, the US felt that changing Philosopher's to Sorcerer's Stone would be best, as apparently you're all too stupid to know what a Philosopher is.

Review of Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets by J.K. Rowling

Series: Harry Potter #2
Genres: Fantasy, Magic
Pages: 360
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Release Date: 02/06/1998
Find The Author: (Website / Twitter) 
Find The Book: Book Depository / AbeBooks UK / US
Add To Your Goodreads Shelf

"There is a plot, Harry Potter. A plot to make most terrible things happen at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year." 

Harry Potter's summer has included the worst birthday ever, doomy warnings from a house-elf called Dobby, and rescue from the Dursleys by his friend Ron Weasley in a magical flying car! Back at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for his second year, Harry hears strange whispers echo through empty corridors - and then the attacks start. Students are found as though turned to stone... Dobby's sinister predictions seem to be coming true.

I can't write a 'proper' review of Harry Potter. I'm 26, so when Harry Potter was released I was right at the age it was marketed towards. I remember starting to notice the hype around Harry Potter when the third book was released (I was 8) and I bought all three books for my holiday. I didn't have a great childhood to be honest and these books were very much my escape. I would beg and beg to get a copy on the release date and my Gran would literally have to fight crowds to get them, I've never seen so much hype around any other book since. So basically, I can't review something that was my entire childhood - here's everything I loved during this re-read (ratings are my guess at what I would have rated as a kid) instead (also I'm presuming that you've read the book, so potential spoilers)

•  'I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I don't exist.' Literally what I say every time we have visitors over.
• Aunt Petunia casually throwing a frying pan at Harry's head
• Fred and George actually showing off their intelligence via picking the lock to Harry's cupboard
• Harry hiding in a cabinet in Borgin and Burkes. The cabinet? Coincidence?  
• Mr Weasley and Mr Malfoy going at it in the bookshop, resulting in a cut lip for Mr Weasley and a black eye for Mr Malfoy, curtesy of an Encyclopedia Of Toadstools
• Professor Fltwick getting smacked in the face by sparks from Ron's malfuntioning wand. Poor bloke can't catch a break.
• Colin Creevey following Harry basically everywhere. In the movies he seemed to disappear after this book.
• How is there no girls on the Slytherin team?!
• Lockheart making Harry write addresses over and over - a similar punishment will be given by Umbridge in later books.
• Myrtle is supposed to be fat. I always thought there was something odd about the casting but I remembered the moves more than the books  
• Lockheart making Harry act out a Transylvanian villager, a yeti with a head cold and a Vampire that could only eat lettuce
• Lockheart cuffed Harry merrily on the shoulder. 'Just do what I did Harry!' 'What, drop my wand?' SHADE
• Ernie having to waft the petrified Nearly Headless Nick up the stairs 
• Malfoy staying over the Christmas holidays really shows how shit his home life is
• '...some old witch in Bath had a book that you could never stop reading! You just had to wander around with your nose in it...' I basically do this anyway I wouldn't notice the difference
• Ron spewing slugs all over Voldy's trophy 
• Harry being wrestled to the ground by a dwarf who wanted to sing him a Valentine
• Also, where is Scabbers
• Myrtle offering to share her toilet with Harry
• Ginny Weasley is the equivalent of don't talk to strangers online
• 'Master has given Dobby a sock' heavy bawling noises 

 

Weekly Update (19/05/2018)

We did so much this week it's going to be wild trying to fit it all in, in fact I actually started this on Tuesday night just so I'd remember it all. Hello from the past!

Hello from Friday: This week in a nutshell - instead of going to the zoo for small's 3rd birthday we went to the doctors instead. She has tonsilitus and is hating her antibiotics. I went again today expecting to get my ears syringed to get all the wax out only to discover that there wasn't any. I have Eustachian Tube Dysfuntion and have been given a nose spray that smells like the worst plants ever. Also the headaches I get from it don't help.

Saturday - Bath

 

On Saturday we went to Bath which is all kinds of beautiful and looks like an actual Jane Austen novel but with buses and tourists? We followed a canal all the way to the incredible Holburne museum because a girl can't resist a gift shop. I did go for a particular exhibition, portraits of stars of the Georgian stage. It was pretty amazing overall, with plenty of art, but weird and wonderful things like Wedgwood miniatures and incredibly elaborate Stumpwork.

 

This is the view from the museum!

EUROVISION

 

Netta from Israel won this year and although it's been SUPER CONTROVERSIAL for so many reasons she seems like a super nice person and the song is so catchy so I think she was a worthy winner.

Received From NetGalley/Review Requests

  

Read This Week

 

I feel slightly disappointed that I didn't get more books read (I usually aim for 4) but on the other hand Goblet Of Fire is 617 pages and Order Of The Phoenix weighs in at 800 pages so I really shouldn't beat myself up about that! I'm already a good 10% into The Half-Blood Prince too, which may be my favourite book in the series (it changes).

And I almost forgot - I'm already half way to my goal of 100 books! If I keep it up I may get to 150 books read this year. Maybe.

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