Review of Zombie Blondes by Brian James

Publisher: Square Fish
Release Date: June 24th 2008
Genres: Horror, Zombies
Pages: 232
Format: Paperback

From the moment Hannah Sanders arrived in town, she felt there was something wrong. A lot of houses were for sale, and the town seemed infected by an unearthly quiet. And then, on Hannah’s first day of classes, she ran into a group of cheerleaders—the most popular girls in school. The odd thing was that they were nearly identical in appearance: blonde, beautiful, and deathly pale.But Hannah wants desperately to fit in—regardless of what her friend Lukas is telling her: if she doesn’t watch her back, she’s going to be blonde and popular and dead—just like all the other zombies in this town...

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I love zombie movies. The cheesier the better. Sometimes they're not even real zombies, like The Stepford Wives. Or Disturbing Behavior, which everyone should see at least twice. This story reminded me strongly of Disturbing Behavior, however I couldn't invest as emotionally with it. Each character had their flaws, but not in a character building, we love you for them way. In an irritating, why on earth are you doing that sort of way.

As soon as we met Hannah, I knew she was going to be cardboard cutout Bella. Yeah, that Bella. I dislike comparing characters to Twilight, however, girl moves to a small town and complains about everything she lays her eyes on is pure Bella. Although, with Bella, I still somehow liked her. With Hannah, I just didn't care.

This would have been a better story had it been more fleshed out. Hannah needed a better backstory, I don't remember her once missing whatever used to be home or mentioning friends (although with a personality like that I'm not sure she had any). There was a brief mention of past boyfriends once. It felt like she only started existing once she arrived in the town. Her Dad was supposed to be running from debt collectors but again. that was never really expanded upon, just brief mentions. Lukas was the only character who could have had some sort of likability but I couldn't understand why he would even try to help a girl who didn't want to be helped. I would have preferred to see the entire story from his Point Of View actually. Besides the blondes, Lukas, a few teachers and one girl who disappears quickly, I never got a sense of the school. There were no other characters mentioned, which is pretty weird for a school.

The ending, much like the book, was meh. Nothing I couldn't predict. I would happily watch this as a bad movie. Reading it however, I just had no feelings towards it. I guess I'd recommend it to someone who was really, really bored one afternoon.

3/5