Review of I Stop Somewhere by T. E. Carter

Genres: Contemporary, Abuse
Pages: 321
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Release Date: 19/04/2018
Find The Author: Website
Find The Book: Book Depository/AbeBooks UK/US
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(Received free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review)

Ellie Frias disappeared long before she vanished. 

Tormented throughout middle school, she begins her freshman year with new clothes, new hair, and a plan: she doesn’t need to be popular, she just needs to blend in with the wallpaper. 

 It’s a lonely existence, but at least no one’s tripping her in the halls. In fact, no one notices her at all. Until Caleb Breward, tells her she’s beautiful and makes her believe it. 

 Ellie loves Caleb, but sometimes she doesn’t like him that much - his awkward smile, the possessive way he touches her, the tone he uses, how he ignores her one minute and can't get enough the next. And on one black night, she discovers the monster her boyfriend really is. Ellie wasn’t the first victim, but now, trapped, she has to watch it happen again and again. She tries to hold onto her happier memories in order to get past the cold days, waiting for someone to find her. 

But no one searches for a girl they never noticed in the first place. 

I feel really guilty rating this book 1 star but I can't bring myself to rate this any higher. I understand that what this author really wanted to do was show us the ugly and brutal world of rape culture but unfortunately they contributed to it instead. This is not a positive message for survivors of rape. This is a book that wants to tell teenage girls that if they're raped, no-one will believe them. Their lives will be torn apart and every single thing they do will be used against them.

Fellow reviewer Elise pointed out that a good 38% of this book is torture porn and they're right. Except the other 63% is torture porn too. To be honest the whole thing was just torture to try and read.

Trying to put my hatred of the way rape culture is used here, the rest of it really wasn't good writing either. I kept forgetting characters because they weren't real people, just a name. Very little happens for the majority of the book other than Ellie reminiscing over her and Caleb's relationship and slowly explaining what happened while meandering around her hometown. The main thing about Ellie was that she wanted to be pretty and popular and other than that she was just... there.

 I'm not going to rate this 5 stars just because it's a subject that's rarely talked about and it was a difficult read. It fucked with my head sure but other than the graphic descriptions of rape not a lot of the story will stick with me. Honestly, the sooner I can get this book out of my head the better.

 Extra note: I've seen people constantly mention The Lovely Bones and 13 Reasons Why in relation to this but I think that the novel that is like this book is Living Dead Girl. A truly horrible book.