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Showing posts with the label Five Stars

Review of The Nowhere Emporium by Ross MacKenzie

When the mysterious Nowhere Emporium arrives in Glasgow, orphan Daniel Holmes stumbles upon it quite by accident. Before long, the 'shop from nowhere' -- and its owner, Mr Silver -- draw Daniel into a breathtaking world of magic and enchantment. Recruited as Mr Silver's apprentice, Daniel learns the secrets of the Emporium's vast labyrinth of passageways and rooms -- rooms that contain wonders beyond anything Daniel has ever imagined. But when Mr Silver disappears, and a shadow from the past threatens everything, the Emporium and all its wonders begin to crumble. Can Daniel save his home, and his new friends, before the Nowhere Emporium is destroyed forever?

I may be twenty (mumble) years old but I am still as enchanted by magical books like The Nowhere Emporium, as I would have been at 7 years old. If I could go back in time to my younger self, I would arrive with the biggest stack of books and this would be among them, as I know this tale of a magical shop with doors to different worlds would be read until it fell apart.

This story has a good mix of magic, mortal peril, fun and more serious subjects that kids may relate to, using orphan Daniel Holmes as our storyteller. Family dynamics are quite cleverly explored here and it's only when I start thinking back that I realise just how much they come up, and I love the idea of choosing your own family. Dealing with the death of a parent in cruel circumstances, Thomas was a hero that I really enjoyed reading about.

Magic shows, a mysterious shop, a cruel villain, family secrets, mysterious and wonderful rooms with infinite possibilities, it's all explored here. It reminds me of a popular book from last year, Starless Sea, except aimed at a much younger audience of course. The sequel, which isn't currently attached to this one on Goodreads yet, is The Elsewhere Emporium, I'm intrigued to find out what Thomas gets up to next!


Review of The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern

Zachary Ezra Rawlins is a graduate student in Vermont when he discovers a mysterious book hidden in the stacks. As he turns the pages, entranced by tales of lovelorn prisoners, key collectors, and nameless acolytes, he reads something strange: a story from his own childhood. Bewildered by this inexplicable book and desperate to make sense of how his own life came to be recorded, Zachary uncovers a series of clues -- a bee, a key, and a sword -- that lead him to a masquerade party in New York, to a secret club, and through a doorway to an ancient library, hidden far below the surface of the earth.

What Zachary finds in this curious place is more than just a buried home for books and their guardians -- it is a place of lost cities and seas, lovers who pass notes under doors and across time, and of stories whispered by the dead. Zachary learns of those who have sacrificed much to protect this realm, relinquishing their sight and their tongues to preserve this archive, and also those who are intent on its destruction.

Together with Mirabel, a fierce, pink-haired protector of the place, and Dorian, a handsome, barefoot man with shifting alliances, Zachary travels the twisting tunnels, darkened stairwells, crowded ballrooms, and sweetly-soaked shores of this magical world, discovering his purpose--in both the mysterious book and in his own life.


2019 has authors knocking it out of the god-damned PARK, what we're knocking out of the park I don't know but basically they're all killing it with the writing this year. I read The Ten Thousand Doors Of January earlier this month which is eerily similar with it's wonderful writing and many, many doors. This one is much more surreal, with secret societies, masked balls and many, many cats. Also, bees.

If I had to squeeze this into a category I'd choose "magical surrealism", it's like Alice In Wonderland but bigger and with more drugs - probably. Zachary checks out a book from the library with no author and attempts to trace where it came from, leading him to Dorian (my heart, I stan), Mirabel, the greatest kitchen ever and people that might cut his hands off. It's complicated.

I refuse to talk to much about this book because you really need to go in blind, it's more fun that way, I promise. If you're into the trippy Alice In Wonderland style where you're never quite sure where you'll end up next, just trust this book to take you on a whole journey. It's incredible.


Thanks For The Trouble - Tommy Wallach

Genre: Contemporary, Romance
Pages: 276
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Release Date: 25/02/2016
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“Was this story written about me?”

I shrugged.

“Yes or no?”

I shrugged again, finally earning a little scowl, which somehow made the girl even more pretty.

“It’s very rude not to answer simple questions,” she said.

I gestured for my journal, but she still wouldn’t give it to me. So I took out my pen and wrote on my palm.

I can’t, I wrote. Then, in tiny letters below it: Now don’t you feel like a jerk?

Parker Santé hasn’t spoken a word in five years. While his classmates plan for bright futures, he skips school to hang out in hotels, killing time by watching the guests. But when he meets a silver-haired girl named Zelda Toth, a girl who claims to be quite a bit older than she looks, he’ll discover there just might be a few things left worth living for.

Admittedly, when I when the blurb of this - a boy that never speaks and some snobby girl with a lot of money - I did roll my eyes. But I was intrigued enough to buy it. It was the right decision - despite so many things that should have gone wrong with this book, everything seemed to go right and I ever had that sad moment where I didn't want to close the last page at the end. This book is perfect for John Green fans.

It absolutely uses the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope but this time our character Zelda felt like a fully realised human being. She's an old soul who knows the history of the city but has never experienced what it is to be a teenager, while Parker has closed himself off from his peers, using his lack of speech as an excuse really, to avoid social situations. Both are dealing with their own unique grief and they help each other move on from that.

This book gets wonderfully strange fairly early on and adds a concept not often seen in contemporary romance. I'm a fan of strange hipster novels so wandering around Tea Rooms, visiting local museums and musing over Seurat paintings was completely up my alley. I can't wait to read more from this author!


The Rest Of Us Just Live Here - Patrick Ness

Genre: Contemporary, Fantasy
Pages: 345
Publisher: Walker Books
Release Date: 05/05/2016
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Not everyone has to be the chosen one.

What if you're not an indie kid, fighting zombies, or whatever this new thing is, with the blue lights and the death?

What if you’re like Mikey? Who just wants to graduate before someone goes and blows up the high school. Again.

Sometimes you just have to discover how even an ordinary life can be extraordinary.

I believe I bought this book when it was first released, which means that this little gem has been lurking on bookshelves, stuffed into boxes and has lived in a shed for 3 years before I finally pulled it out and cracked it open.

I've read most of the big tropey YA books, I've suffered through Vampires, Immortals, Angels, Demons, Fae, all of those big hyped Paranormal Romances that came after Twilight. It looks like this book dealt with them too. I loved how aware the sections featuring Satchel and the indie boys were, constantly daring to poke fun at the genre while weaving an emotional story about The Rest Of Us, the kids that just want to graduate and leave their small town in peace.

Interweaving the two narratives is probably the cleverest part of the book, while you only get a small paragraph of Satchel's side of the story (hey we have a YA book where the main character is called freaking Belly so in comparison this name is valid), which gives you some context of what is happening to Mikey and his friends when they suffer the aftermath of an avalanche of deer, scary blue eyed cops and building being blown up.

This small group of friends really felt like real people dealing with real issues, relationships and mental health issues. I loved them all. The ending is bittersweet and really left me wishing for a sequel, while everything is wrapped up the characters themselves were left with question about what would happen in their futures, just like all of us have.


Review of Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince

When Dumbledore arrives at Privet Drive one summer night to collect Harry Potter, his wand hand is blackened and shrivelled, but he does not reveal why. Secrets and suspicion are spreading through the wizarding world, and Hogwarts itself is not safe. Harry is convinced that Malfoy bears the Dark Mark: there is a Death Eater amongst them. Harry will need powerful magic and true friends as he explores Voldemort’s darkest secrets, and Dumbledore prepares him to face his destiny...


I can't write a 'proper' review of Harry Potter. I'm 26, so when Harry Potter was released I was right at the age it was marketed towards. I remember starting to notice the hype around Harry Potter when the third book was released (I was 8) and I bought all three books for my holiday. I didn't have a great childhood to be honest and these books were very much my escape. I would beg and beg to get a copy on the release date and my Gran would literally have to fight crowds to get them, I've never seen so much hype around any other book since. So basically, I can't review something that was my entire childhood - here's everything I loved during this re-read instead (and some other stuff) (also I'm presuming that you've read the book, so potential spoilers)
  •  The group's official Ministry Of Magic badges being titled 'Harry Potter, Rescue Mission'
  • Dumbledore making himself completely at home via forcing the Dursley's onto a sofa before getting out a bottle of mead
  • Dumbledore deciding that the best way to make sure he's not an imposter is to ask him his favourite flavour of jam
  • Raspberry '...although of course, if I were a Death Eater, I would have been sure to research my own jam-preferences before impersonating myself.'
  • Real actual rotting flesh zombies 
  • Harry just slowly going darker - dark Harry is best Harry
  • Dumbledore looking at knitting patterns
  • 'Harry had spent nearly all his time at the Dursleys' lying on his bed, refusing meals and staring at the misted window, full of the chill emptiness that he had come to associate with Dementors.' Rowling often said that Dementors represented depression and she totally gets it
  • 'said Dumbledore, with an approving pat on Harry's back. 'I take my hat off to you - or I would, if I were not afraid of showering you in spiders.' Dumbledore wtf 
  • Tonks pining after Lupin the whole book was actually really really annoying? I mean Sirius JUST DIED. Get your shit together?
  •  Karkaroff's death getting all of one line basically. Oh well, he was a twat.
  • 'Why Are You Worrying About You-Know-Who? You SHOULD Be Worrying About U-NO-POO - the Constipation Sensation That's Gripping The Nation!'
  • 'Draco Malfoy with his back to them, just visible beyond the very same large black cabinet in which Harry had once hidden to avoid Malfoy and his father.' for fucks sake Harry how many times does this thing have to be name dropped
  • 'I enjoyed those meetings, too,' said Luna serenely. 'It was like having friends.' aw Luna
  • Snape - 'Do you remember me telling you we are practising non-verbal spells, Potter?' 'Yes,' said Harry stiffly. 'Yes sir.' 'There's no need to call me "sir", Professor.' SHADE
  • 'Lord Voldemort has never had a friend, nor do I believe that he has ever wanted one.' Yeah didn't stop him having a kid apparently though did it
  • That I was totally correct in saying that any of the Weasley's could have performed magic underage - it's a location spell that isn't specific so as long as there's an adult wizard in the house you're fine
  • Young Snape's super elaborate potion to cure poisoning - 'Just shove a bezoar down their throats'
  • '...Harry had no difficulty whatsoever in recognising as Voldemort. He was plainly dressed in a black suit; his hair was a little longer than it had been at school and his cheeks were hollowed, but all of this suited him: he looked more handsome than ever.' Harry is totally into that. 
  • 'took a left at the broken Vanishing Cabinet in which Montague had got lost the previous year' MY GOD HARRY 


Review of Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix by J.K. Rowling


Series: Harry Potter #5
Genres: Fantasy, Magic
Pages: 800
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Release Date: 21/06/2003
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Dark times have come to Hogwarts. After the Dementors' attack on his cousin Dudley, Harry Potter knows that Voldemort will stop at nothing to find him. There are many who deny the Dark Lord's return, but Harry is not alone: a secret order gathers at Grimmauld Place to fight against the Dark forces. Harry must allow Professor Snape to teach him how to protect himself from Voldemort's savage assaults on his mind. But they are growing stronger by the day and Harry is running out of time...

 
I can't write a 'proper' review of Harry Potter. I'm 26, so when Harry Potter was released I was right at the age it was marketed towards. I remember starting to notice the hype around Harry Potter when the third book was released (I was 8) and I bought all three books for my holiday. I didn't have a great childhood to be honest and these books were very much my escape. I would beg and beg to get a copy on the release date and my Gran would literally have to fight crowds to get them, I've never seen so much hype around any other book since. So basically, I can't review something that was my entire childhood - here's everything I loved during this re-read (the rating for this one is lower, explained above) instead (also I'm presuming that you've read the book, so potential spoilers)

  •  Harry giving Fred and George his Triwizard winnings - it was wonderful to see something so happy come out of such a tragedy.
  • 'Listening to the news,' said Harry in a resigned voice. His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage. 'Listening to the news! Again?' 'Well, it changes every day, you see,' said Harry.
  • It took me 15 years to get that Grimmauld Place means Grim Old Place and on top of that, Trelawney kept calling Sirius The Grim.
  • 'Kreacher lives to serve the Noble House of Black -' 'And it's getting blacker every day, it's filthy,' said Sirius.
  • Just how related everyone is in this is crazy.
  • Tonk's constant clumsiness is something I can 100% relate to.
  • Mrs Weasley attacking Harry's hair with a wet comb. I'm almost convinced that my daughter is somehow related, I can never get her hair to lie flat.
  • Mr Weasley being delighted that the stile swallowed his ticket - I'd love to go shopping with him and show him all the Muggle things.
  • 'Ron held up his badge. Mrs Weasley let out a shriek just like Hermione's. 'I don't believe it! I don't believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!' 'What are Fred and I, next door neighbours?' said George indignantly...'
  • Sirius in dog form, chasing pigeons and his own tail.
  • 'You see I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments.' 'Yeah,' said Harry, 'but you, unlike me, are a git, so get out and leave us alone.'
  • McGonagall aggressively forcing biscuits on Harry after finding out he had a go at Umbridge.
  • BOWTRUCKLES! I remember seeing one in FBAWTFT.
  • 'Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher,' said Harry loudly, 'there was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head.'
  • '...two figures shrouded in hoods sat at a table in one of the windows; Harry might have thought them Dementors if they had not been talking in strong Yorkshire accents.' MY PEOPLE
  • Ginny being a rather excellent Quidditch player
  • 'He never managed to get all the words out,' said Fred, 'due to the fact that we forced him head-first into that Vanishing Cabinet on the first floor' - *screeching noises* *aggressive pointing* IT'S THE BLOODY CABINET
  • McGonagall's constant shade to Umbridge is everything.
  • 'Hagrid gave a great sniff and patted Harry wordlessly on the shoulder with such force Harry was knocked sideways into a tree.'
  • 'I doubt it,' shouted tiny Professor Marchbanks, 'not if Dumbledore doesn't want to be found! I should know... examined him personally in Tranfiguration and Charms when he did N.E.W.T.s...' - How bloody old is this woman
  • 'Well, we were always going to fail that one,' said Ron gloomily as they ascended the marble staircase. He had just made Harry feel rather better by telling him how he had told the examiner in detail about the ugly man with a wart on his nose in his crystal ball, only to look up and realise he had been describing his examiner's reflection. 
 

Review of Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire by J.K. Rowling


Series: Harry Potter
Genres: Fantasy, Magic
Pages: 617
Publisher:Bloomsbury
Release Date: 08/07/2000
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The Triwizard Tournament is to be held at Hogwarts. Only wizards who are over seventeen are allowed to enter - but that doesn't stop Harry dreaming that he will win the competition. Then at Hallowe'en, when the Goblet of Fire makes its selection, Harry is amazed to find his name is one of those that the magical cup picks out. He will face death-defying tasks, dragons and Dark wizards, but with the help of his best friends, Ron and Hermione, he might just make it through - alive! The Triwizard Tournament is to be held at Hogwarts. Only wizards who are over seventeen are allowed to enter - but that doesn't stop Harry dreaming that he will win the competition. Then at Hallowe'en, when the Goblet of Fire makes its selection, Harry is amazed to find his name is one of those that the magical cup picks out. He will face death-defying tasks, dragons and Dark wizards, but with the help of his best friends, Ron and Hermione, he might just make it through - alive!

 
I can't write a 'proper' review of Harry Potter. I'm 26, so when Harry Potter was released I was right at the age it was marketed towards. I remember starting to notice the hype around Harry Potter when the third book was released (I was 8) and I bought all three books for my holiday. I didn't have a great childhood to be honest and these books were very much my escape. I would beg and beg to get a copy on the release date and my Gran would literally have to fight crowds to get them, I've never seen so much hype around any other book since. So basically, I can't review something that was my entire childhood - here's everything I loved during this re-read (the rating for this one is lower, explained above) instead (also I'm presuming that you've read the book, so potential spoilers)
  • Pigwidgeon being described as a fluffy snitch. I've held an owl that looked just like the Pig from the movies and they truly are the smallest things.
  • "picturing Dumbledore, with his long silver beard, full-length wizard's robes and pointed hat, stretched out on a beach somewhere, rubbing suntan lotion into his long crooked nose."
  • Mr Weasley trying to fix the Dursley's fireplace after realising that travelling via floo powder to a boarded up fireplace was a terrible idea
  • Mr Weasley not understanding why the Dursleys wouldn't want to say goodbye to their nephew
  • "It suddenly occured to Harry how odd this would look if a Muggle were to walk up here now... nine people, two grown men, clutching this manky old boot in the semi-darkness..." Sounds like a typical Friday night round here if you ask me
  • My favourite ever Harry Potter character: "One of them was a very old wizard who was wearing a long flowery nightgown. The other was clearly a Ministry wizard; he was holding out a pair of pinstriped trousers and almost crying with exasperation. 'Just put them on, Archie, there's a good chap, you can't walk around like that, the Muggle on the gate's already getting suspicious -' 'I bought this in a Muggle shop,' said the old wizard stubbornly. 'Muggles wear them.' 'Muggle women wear them, Archie, not the men, they wear these,' said the Ministry wizard, and he brandished the pinstriped trousers. 'I'm not putting them on,' said old Archie in indignation. 'I like a healthy breeze around my privates, thanks."
  • 'Vell, ve fought bravely,' said a gloomy voice behind Harry. He looked around, it was Bulgarian Minister For Magic. 'You can speak English!' said Fudge, sounding outraged. 'And you've been letting me mime everything all day!' 'Vell, it vos very funny,' said the Bulgarian Minister, shrugging.
  • Stan Shunpike trying to chat up the Veela. Later books never really clarified what happened to him.
  • Professor McGonagall slipping on a wet patch and nearly strangling Hermione in the process.
  • Dumbledore attempting to tell potentially dirty jokes before being stopped by McGonagall.
  • Lavender Brown - 'Oh, Professor, look! I think I've got an unaspected planet! Oooh, which one's that, Professor?' 'It is Uranus, my dear,' said Professor Trelawney, peering down at the chart. 'Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?' said Ron.
  • Fred and George trying to fool the Goblet of Fire and ending up looking like Dumbledore's cousins.
  • 'Did you put your name into the Goblet of Fire, Harry?' Dumbledore asked CALMLY.
  • The lake sea monster thingy eating toast.
  • Hagrid trying out his French - at least we can work out what he meant by 'Bong-Sewer'.
  • That there's a book called 'Men Who Love Dragons Too Much'
  • 'The bell was due to ring at any moment, and Harry and Ron, who had been having a sword fight with a couple of Fred and George's fake wans at the back of the class, looked up, Ron now holding a tin parrot, and Harry, a rubber haddock.
  • The suits of armour being bewitched to sing carols at anyone who passes them. - 'It was quite something to hear 'Oh Come, All Ye Faithful' sung by an empty helmet that only knew half the words.
  • Harry being an ungrateful git and not appreciating Dobby's Christmas gift of knitted socks.
  • 'You don't think anything that Skeeter cow - sorry Professor,' he added quickly, looking at Dumbledore. 'I have gone temporarily deaf and haven't any idea what you said, Harry, said Dumbledore, twiddling his thumbs and staring at the ceiling.
  • Dumbledore speaking mermish
  • The Lestranges being a married couple but lets forget that to shove in the terrible plot device in Cursed Child I'm not bitter
  • Sirius being called Snuffles
  • Voldemort's wand light was green, while Harry's in red - Slytherin and Gryffindor.
 

Review of Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets by J.K. Rowling


Series: Harry Potter #2
Genres: Fantasy, Magic
Pages: 360
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Release Date: 02/06/1998
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"There is a plot, Harry Potter. A plot to make most terrible things happen at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year." 

Harry Potter's summer has included the worst birthday ever, doomy warnings from a house-elf called Dobby, and rescue from the Dursleys by his friend Ron Weasley in a magical flying car! Back at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for his second year, Harry hears strange whispers echo through empty corridors - and then the attacks start. Students are found as though turned to stone... Dobby's sinister predictions seem to be coming true.


I can't write a 'proper' review of Harry Potter. I'm 26, so when Harry Potter was released I was right at the age it was marketed towards. I remember starting to notice the hype around Harry Potter when the third book was released (I was 8) and I bought all three books for my holiday. I didn't have a great childhood to be honest and these books were very much my escape. I would beg and beg to get a copy on the release date and my Gran would literally have to fight crowds to get them, I've never seen so much hype around any other book since. So basically, I can't review something that was my entire childhood - here's everything I loved during this re-read (ratings are my guess at what I would have rated as a kid) instead (also I'm presuming that you've read the book, so potential spoilers)


  •  'I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I don't exist.' Literally what I say every time we have visitors over.
  • Aunt Petunia casually throwing a frying pan at Harry's head
  • Fred and George actually showing off their intelligence via picking the lock to Harry's cupboard
  • Harry hiding in a cabinet in Borgin and Burkes. The cabinet? Coincidence?  
  • Mr Weasley and Mr Malfoy going at it in the bookshop, resulting in a cut lip for Mr Weasley and a black eye for Mr Malfoy, curtesy of an Encyclopedia Of Toadstools
  • Professor Fltwick getting smacked in the face by sparks from Ron's malfuntioning wand. Poor bloke can't catch a break.
  • Colin Creevey following Harry basically everywhere. In the movies he seemed to disappear after this book.
  • How is there no girls on the Slytherin team?!
  • Lockheart making Harry write addresses over and over - a similar punishment will be given by Umbridge in later books.
  • Myrtle is supposed to be fat. I always thought there was something odd about the casting but I remembered the moves more than the books  
  • Lockheart making Harry act out a Transylvanian villager, a yeti with a head cold and a Vampire that could only eat lettuce
  • Lockheart cuffed Harry merrily on the shoulder. 'Just do what I did Harry!' 'What, drop my wand?' SHADE
  • Ernie having to waft the petrified Nearly Headless Nick up the stairs 
  • Malfoy staying over the Christmas holidays really shows how shit his home life is
  • '...some old witch in Bath had a book that you could never stop reading! You just had to wander around with your nose in it...' I basically do this anyway I wouldn't notice the difference
  • Ron spewing slugs all over Voldy's trophy 
  • Harry being wrestled to the ground by a dwarf who wanted to sing him a Valentine
  • Also, where is Scabbers
  • Myrtle offering to share her toilet with Harry
  • Ginny Weasley is the equivalent of don't talk to strangers online
  • 'Master has given Dobby a sock' heavy bawling noises 


 

Review of Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone by J.K. Rowling

 
Series: Harry Potter #1
Genres: Fantasy, Magic
Pages: 332
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Release Date: 26/06/1997
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When a letter arrives for unhappy but ordinary Harry Potter, a decade-old secret is revealed to him that apparently he's the last to know. His parents were wizards, killed by a Dark Lord's curse when Harry was just a baby, and which he somehow survived. Leaving his unsympathetic aunt and uncle for Hogwarts, a wizarding school brimming with ghosts and enchantments, Harry stumbles upon a sinister mystery when he finds a three-headed dog guarding a room on the third floor. Then he hears of a missing stone with astonishing powers which could be valuable, dangerous - or both. An incredible adventure is about to begin!


I can't write a 'proper' review of Harry Potter. I'm 26, so when Harry Potter was released I was right at the age it was marketed towards. I remember starting to notice the hype around Harry Potter when the third book was released (I was 8) and I bought all three books for my holiday. I didn't have a great childhood to be honest and these books were very much my escape. I would beg and beg to get a copy on the release date and my Gran would literally have to fight crowds to get them, I've never seen so much hype around any other book since. So basically, I can't review something that was my entire childhood - here's everything I loved during this re-read (ratings are my guess at what I would have rated as a kid) instead (also I'm presuming that you've read the book or seen the movies, so potential spoilers) 

  • 'Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.' *heavy bawling noises*
  • McGonagall sat on the wall reading a map, in cat form
  • Mr Dursley trying to shoo cat McGonagall away and she just stares at him
  • Harry Potter And The Mystical Hair Growing Powers
  • 'It was not a mistake,' said Harry angrily. 'It had my cupboard on it.'
  • Harry standing on his Uncle's face in an effort to get the post first
  • Dumbledore sending letters via rolling them up into eggs. I like to imagine him doing this while a very exasperated McGonagall looks on
  • Uncle Vernon getting smacked round the back of the head with letters
  • Hagrid casually setting up a campfire in the shack, complete with sausage. Also Hagrid digging around his coat and producing an owl.
  • 'Harry, yer a wizard.' I'm so used to hearing 'Yer a wizard Harry' from the movies
  • 'Cornelius Fudge got the job. Bungler if ever there was one. So he pelts Dumbledore with owls every morning, askin' fer advice.' Please write this scene.
  • 'There was a train to London in five minutes time.' Literally never happens
  • Hagrid knitting 'what looked like a canary yellow circus tent' on the train ride 
  • Quirrel - 'I've g-got to p-pick up a new b-book on vampires m-myself.' - Yes I am picturing Quirrel reading Twilight  
  • Harry trying to buy a solid gold cauldron
  • I may have cried when Hedwig was purchased.
  • Professor Dumbledore is particularly famous for his defeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945' OHHHH. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
  • 'Professor Dumbledore enjoys chamber music and tenpin bowling'
  • I forgot that the hat sings
  • Seamus Finnegan - 'Nearly Headless? How can you be nearly headless?' Role change alert
  • Professor Flitwick falling off his pile of books when he realised Harry was in his classroom
  • The greatest scene in the entire series - the Weasley twins bouncing snowballs off of the back of Quirrel's turban
  • Dumbledore casually wearing a flowered bonnet
  • Hagrid and McGonagall getting drunk together
  • I can 100% believe that Dumbledore saw himself holding a pair of thick woolly socks in The Mirror Of Erised
  • Hagrid singing lullabys to his dragon
  • Severus being described as 'swooping around like an overgrown bat' which is pretty legit
  • 'Alas! Earwax!'


Review of Mystery Of The Colour Thief by Ewa Jozefkowicz


Genres: Middle Grade, Contemporary
Pages: 192
Publisher: Zephyr
Release Date: 03/05/2018
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(Received free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review)

First the accident, then the nightmares. The shadowy thief steals all the colours from Izzy's world leaving her feeling empty and hopeless. Will her new neighbour and a nest full of cygnets save Izzy and solve the mystery of the colour thief? A heartwarming story about families, friendships,school, nature, hope and self-confidence. 

After a frightening car accident, Izzy's mum is in a coma. Her family is in pieces. Her best friend at school has dumped her. And her nightmares are haunted by a shadowy man stealing all the colours from her world. She's trying so hard to be brave, but Izzy thinks everything is her fault. Then she meets her new neighbour, Toby, paralyzed after a skateboarding accident, and together they find a nest of cygnets who need rescuing. Particularly the odd one out, called Spike. Will saving Spike save Izzy? Will she and Toby solve the mystery of the colour thief and bring hope and happiness back to Izzy's life? 


I read a book quite similar to this one this year, The Amazing Colour Of After. Like After, this deals with themes of birds, colour, growing up and loss, although in this book Izzy's mother hasn't passed away, she's in a coma. While this is a much shorter book, I did feel that this handled those themes better, and I connected to Izzy way more than I did Leigh in After. 

 I didn't like Izzy's family in this book. When Izzy's mum is in coma, her Dad shuts himself off leaving her overbearing aunt to look after Izzy. I went through similar myself and it feels like instead of losing one person you've lost your whole family. I think her aunt meant well enough but treating the house as if it was hers and nit-picking didn't help the situation. 

 “I felt a cold rush of air. The shadow and smoke cleared and I was lifted in a single jerking motion by a pair of string hands. I could clearly see the skin - soft, leathery brown. I knew who the hands belonged to. The shadow man. The color thief.” 

When you grow up, your friendships change and Izzy loses her best friend around the same time as the accident. Lou clearly wants to be part of the popular crowd - and she doesn't think Izzy is cool enough. She quickly turns into a bully, making Izzy's life complete hell at school. 

On the plus side, Izzy meets a new friend Toby, who uses a wheelchair after an accident. He excitedly shows her the new baby swans he found when they spot a smaller cygnet who seems to be struggling against it's bigger brothers and sisters, so they work out a plan to build him up to be bigger and stronger. It's a clever use of mirroring against Izzy's own life.


Review of Brightly Burning by Alexa Donne



Genres: Retelling, Sci-Fi
Pages: 391
Publisher: HMH Books
Release Date:01/05/2018
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Seventeen-year-old Stella Ainsley wants just one thing: to go somewhere—anywhere—else. Her home is a floundering spaceship that offers few prospects, having been orbiting an ice-encased Earth for two hundred years. When a private ship hires her as a governess, Stella jumps at the chance. The captain of the Rochester, nineteen-year-old Hugo Fairfax, is notorious throughout the fleet for being a moody recluse and a drunk. But with Stella he’s kind.

But the Rochester harbors secrets: Stella is certain someone is trying to kill Hugo, and the more she discovers, the more questions she has about his role in a conspiracy threatening the fleet.


JANE EYRE IN SPACE. It's hard to review this book without shrieking that first. I'll put my hand up and admit that when it comes to retellings I'm instantly apprehensive, as that can go pretty badly wrong - I'll forever remember the absolutely atrocious retelling of A Christmas Carol that I read and still don't understand how it was published. However this book is smart - it doesn't try and force it's sci-fi story into a little Jane Eyre shaped box, it just takes the themes of Jane Eyre and carefully wraps them around it's own story, giving us an epic sci-fi (almost) dystopia, while giving us little nods to other famous books too. I know the plot of Jane Eyre very well, as it's one of my favourite books - but this story has it's own unique ending that I wasn't expecting at all.

 Instead of Jane, we have Stella. She's similar to Jane in that she's an orphan whose parents were killed by a virus - in the original it was typhus that decimated the population but in this future, it's called the Kebbler virus and this ties in with the main plot at the end of the book. She's a governess too, which is how she finds herself on board the ship Rochester. However she's also an engineer, looking after her current ship the Stalwart when she gets the job offer. In this reality Earth has become uninhabitable and the population has fled to space - the rich in their own, elaborate ships, the poor in ships that barely work, leak and need constant repair while they grow food for the rich.

“The room was beyond decadent. Tapesties that I suspected were of ancient Earth origin covered two of the walls, which were composed of a wood-like finish - a warm brownish red. It was purely cosmetic, considering that the ship was made of metal, and there was no need for wood anything on board. And I was gobsmacked to find shelves filled with actual paper-and-ink books. I'd beheld them only once in my lifetime, contained under glass at the Empire's library.” 

I liked that the class system was kept and the divide between the poor and the rich becomes so much more obvious when Stella is forced to attend a party for Hugo's rich friends. She's looked down on simply because she doesn't have rich connections and a lot of money, something I think we can relate to even today. On other other hand Stella is mostly welcomed by the crew of The Rochester, especially her charge Jessa. I loved Jessa, she's wild and a little obnoxious but is going to grow up to be a headstrong young woman who doesn't take shit from anybody. If we can have a sequel featuring her that would be great, thanks.

The biggest thing I loved about this book was the Beauty and the Beast level LIBRARY. Hugo has a huge collection of old books and there's even a digital library that is simply too humungous to even imagine. The flat pack spaceship (thanks Who) felt intensely claustrophic at times so I would totally spend my days reading if I could, or looking at the stars like Stella does. Speaking of the spaceship, I totally spotted that reference to Illuminae's AIDAN towards the end of the book and even the word "Godspeed" was said shortly afterwards. It was a nice nod to another favourite book.

Review of The Smoke Thieves by Sally Green



Series: The Smoke Thieves #1
Genres: Fantasy, Adventure
Pages: 512
Publisher: Penguin
Release Date: 03/05/2018
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(Received free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review)

A princess, a soldier, a traitor, a hunter and a thief. Five teenagers with the fate of the world in their hands. Four nations destined for conflict. 

In Brigant, Princess Catherine prepares for a loveless political marriage arranged by her brutal and ambitious father. In Calidor, downtrodden servant March seeks revenge on the prince who betrayed his people. In Pitoria, feckless Edyon steals cheap baubles for cheaper thrills as he drifts from town to town. And in the barren northern territories, thirteen-year-old Tash is running for her life as she plays bait for the gruff demon hunter Gravell. 

As alliances shift and shatter, and old certainties are overturned, our four heroes find their past lives transformed and their futures inextricably linked by the unpredictable tides of magic and war. Who will rise and who will fall? And who will claim the ultimate prize? 

 
Whoops, I accidently read this in a day. I wasn't sure if having five points of view squeezed into one book would actually work but it did as every character was completely unique, even when I forgot to check whose chapter is was, I knew exactly who was speaking due to their tone of voice, which basically hardly ever happens. I did find myself wishing for more female POVs, as we only have 2 female compared to 3 male.

A Princess - Catherine is royalty, about to be basically sold off to another country to marry a man she doesn't know. She's my favourite, I was expecting the whole constant whining about how her life isn't fair thing but she's loyal to her family and does everything in her power to make sure that her family and country is seen in a good light. She's determined to adjust to her new country's customs but when she knows that something is wrong, she speaks her mind. Which also means we didn't have to suffer several chapters of "hmmm... should I mention this?".

A Soldier - Ambrose probably goes through the most turmoil during this book. It's in the first scenes that he loses a close relative (she's either a sister or a cousin or an aunt my memory is terrible) and then finds himself on the chopping block. Fleeing his position as the Princess's guard he accidentally stumbles on the King's biggest secret.

A Hunter - Tash is likely to be pretty much everyone's favourite character. I think she's the only chaarcter of colour in the book (descriptions were admittedly a little vague) and she's a tiny, 13 year old demon hunter who swears like a trucker and runs faster than Mo Farrah. She reminded me a lot of Arya Stark.

A Traitor - March seems to get the least amount of chapters in this book but I was still intrigued by him. One of the last of the Abask people, he's serving the ruler of the conquering nation when he finds someone like him and begs them to take him with them.

A Thief - Eidyon is probably my least favourite character. He's almost aggressively gay, coming on to March so much that it started to feel uncomfortable but he's also pretty weak, constantly thinking of himself and his needs and wants over others. He did get some character development when his feelings grew for March but I'm hoping in book 2 something happens to really toughen him up, Game Of Thrones style.

I thought this was a fantastic start to the series and I really can't wait to read the next one. The idea of demon smoke and demons was wonderfully unique and I'm hoping we explore it even further in future books. This book was basically a set up for something much bigger so I'm hoping relationships will be explored further too. The UK edition blurb of this is odd because it states four teenagers, not five and goes on to describe each one - omitting Ambrose entirely. I'm not sure the reasoning behind this.


Review of The Name Of The Star by Maureen Johnson



Series: Shades Of London #1 
Genres: Paranormal, Mystery
Pages: 374
Publisher: HarperCollins
Release Date: 29/09/2011
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Louisiana teenager Rory Deveaux arrives in London to start a new life at boarding school just as a series of brutal murders mimicking the horrific Jack the Ripper killing spree of more than a century ago has broken out across the city. The police are left with few leads and no witnesses. Except one. Rory spotted the man believed to be the prime suspect. But she is the only one who saw him - the only one who can see him. And now Rory has become his next target...unless she can tap her previously unknown abilities to turn the tables.


I'm obsessed with Jack The Ripper. I'm not sure why but I imagine everyone else who is obsessed with the Ripper has the same thoughts. As this book puts it, he is the first modern serial killer - and he was never caught. This book is perfect for a gory history fan like me because it loves London's dark and bloody history just as much as I do.

When I first read this back in 2011 I didn't think it was that special. I don't know what I was thinking because this book is quite special, it was released around a time when every book featuring something of the superatural was basically a huge cover up for an insta-love romance and I grew to hate them. This book does have a light romance in it, but nothing more than you'd expect from the average teenager. Non-spoiler: No thousand year old men profess their undying love for her.

“No one hid their interest when I walked into the room. I'm not sure if it was the news about Boo or my general appearance. At home, people would have asked. People would have been crawling all over me for information. At Wexford, they seemed to extract what they wanted to know by covert staring.” 

The story is, Rory's parents decide to travel away from their hometown of Louisiana (did I butcher that spelling?) and as it's Rory's final school year, she gets to decide where they go. She choosing London because she's crazy and moves into a girl's dorm while her parents travel to Bristol. Then some people are brutally murdered, recreating the crimes of Jack The Ripper.

I really love Rory and I could see her being my friend. She's really weird and exactly what I look for in a friend. She thinks that London is really far down south and that Brisol and London are really far apart by UK standards (we're pretty aware that we live on a small island). She also seems to think that Bristol is towards the middle of the country, whereas we'd consider it down south. Plus she chokes on her dinner sometimes which I can definitely relate to.

“England and Britain and the United Kingdom are not the same thing. England is the country. Britain is the island containing England, Scotland, and Wales. The United Kingdom is the formal designation of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland as a political entity. If you mess this up, you will be corrected. Repeatedly.”

This is clearly the start of what I'm hoping will be an epic paranormal investigation series, so I'm hoping other major events in London will be covered over time too. Jack The Ripper is fascinating but have you heard of the Ratcliffe Highway murders? Or we could go further back with nods to Shakespeare's time. I've been disappointed in sequels before but I'm going to choose to be cautiously optimistic with this one.

 If you want a great look at London's dark past without feeling like you're reading a textbook the size of it, I highly recommend you let Dr Matthew Green take you by the hand and show you all of it in London: A Travel Guide Through Time. It's not for the faint of heart but honestly one of the best history books I've ever read and I never once felt like I was being pelted with information.

Review of Ultraviolet by R. J. Anderson



Genres: Sci-Fi, Romance
Pages: 415
Publisher: Orchard Books
Release Date: 02/06/2011
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Once upon a time there was a girl who was special. 
This is not her story. 
Unless you count the part where I killed her. 

Sixteen-year-old Alison has been sectioned in a mental institute for teens, having murdered the most perfect and popular girl at school. But the case is a mystery: no body has been found, and Alison's condition is proving difficult to diagnose. Alison herself can't explain what happened: one minute she was fighting with Tori -- the next she disintegrated. Into nothing. But that's impossible. Right? 

When Alison meets Dr Faraday, a visiting psychologist, she feels an instant connection. More, he believes her story. But there's more to Faraday than Alison can possibly imagine... and the answers he will give her are... extraordinary ... 


I first read this book in 2011 and the fact that I actually remembered most of the plot 7 years later says just how much I enjoyed it. It's a simple enough story about Alison, a girl who is sent a psychiatric ward after a girl from school disappears - a girl that Alison swears she's killed. Alison is unusual though - her synesthesia means that she taste lies, numbers have colours and fire alarms are excruciatingly painful.

A big reason why I enjoyed this book is a 6 foot 3 man sized package called Sebastian Faraday, who is very close to the number 1 spot for all tme favourite book boyfriends (Arin from The Winner's Trilogy takes the top spot every time). He enters the book abit later than everyone else and helps Alison research her synesthesia and what might have happened to Tori, the girl she says she killed.

I like that the book keeps you guessing, it's difficult to work out if Alison is crazy or if there's more to it than that. We get our answers at the end of the story and I thought that it was pretty well done too. There's enough at the end of the book to make you want to pick up the next book, without forcing a frustrating cliffhanger.

Review of Gemina by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff



Series: Illuminae #2
Genres: Sci-Fi, Horror
Pages: 659
Publisher: Alfred A. Knopf Books
Release Date: 18/10/2016
Find The Author (AK): (Website/Twitter)
Find The Author (JK): (Website/Twitter)
Find The Book: Book Depository/AbeBooks UK/US

Moving to a space station at the edge of the galaxy was always going to be the death of Hanna’s social life. Nobody said it might actually get her killed. 

The sci-fi saga that began with the breakout bestseller Illuminae continues on board the Jump Station Heimdall, where two new characters will confront the next wave of the BeiTech assault. 

Hanna is the station captain’s pampered daughter; Nik the reluctant member of a notorious crime family. But while the pair are struggling with the realities of life aboard the galaxy’s most boring space station, little do they know that Kady Grant and the Hypatia are headed right toward Heimdall, carrying news of the Kerenza invasion. 

When an elite BeiTech strike team invades the station, Hanna and Nik are thrown together to defend their home. But alien predators are picking off the station residents one by one, and a malfunction in the station’s wormhole means the space-time continuum might be ripped in two before dinner. Soon Hanna and Nik aren’t just fighting for their own survival; the fate of everyone on the Hypatia—and possibly the known universe—is in their hands. 

But relax. They’ve totally got this. They hope.


Is it actually possible to write a review of this series without screaming in ALL CAPS for several paragraphs because I'M TRYING REALLY HARD NOT TO. I'll throw out a couple of potential negatives that aren't really negatives before I babble for 5 paragraphs BUT BASICALLY I was disappointed by the POV switch initially (but Hana and Nik are best humans and I love them so that worked fine) and this book is so long it took me, a voracious reader, 6 BLOODY DAYS to read ALL 600 PAGES.

 I love that all the characters in The Illuminae Files are these complex human beings, like how Hana seemed like Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club when I first meet her but then she turned into some sort of fighting ninja and was actually really intelligent too and I love girls WHO CAN BE ALL OF THESE THINGS UNAPOLOGETICALLY. Nik's almost the opposite, a drug dealing kid raised in a gang but can't stomach animal cruelty and probably has a special blanket at home that no-one is allowed to know about.

This tiny moment. In between the time you decide to pull a trigger and the time death arrives. There's just you and it and everything you're about to take away. It's too big. It goes forever.” 

 All the side characters are memorable, which is great because I can barely remember main characters most of the time (I wrote the entirety of my review of Illuminae thinking Ezra had a completely different name). The stand out character was Ella, I would love a standalone book featuring her because she's wonderful and smart and flawed but sassy and bitchy and just all round awesome. Jax on the other hand (Hanna's boyfriend) I never liked, he seemed to be little more than an english pretty boy.

 There's a seamless combination of sci-fi and horror which I love because Amie and Jay ARE JUST SO GOOD AT IT, last time we had what was basically a zombie virus and how do you top that? Let's get some WORMS WITH TEETH and have them SLIVER ALL OVER THE SHIP IN SEARCH OF BRAAAINS. Plus we have the introduction of the Bei-Tech squad, sent to basically kill everyone on the ship and the whole book went Battle Royale In Space for a few hundreds pages which was FREAKING AWESOME.

“But faced with the choice of living one breath longer or crashing in right now, most folks would take the extra moment. That single extra breath. Even when your world stops spinning and gravity dies and the blood glitters in the air like a galaxy of warm red suns all around you. A lot can happen between breaths, after all.” 

 Yeah there's a good deal of romance but who cares it's a YA book and I think it helps increase the tension especially when they DO THAT THING AT THE END AND THEN THEY DO THAT OTHER THING AND YOU'RE LIKE WAIT WHAT AND THEN THAT THING HAPPENS AND YOU HAVE TO TURN THE BOOK SEVERAL DIRECTIONS?! I really want to talk about THE THING because it's full on sci-fi gloriousness and explains the title too AND I CAN'T BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE SO SPOILERY.

 Without TOO MUCH YELLING, what's great about this series and in particular this book is that it's a full idea before being written down. A lot of YA books feel like they have a starting point and a finishing point and we end up with a second book that just feels like filler. This didn't feel like that even once and I didn't even think of the word filler until I went to review it and realised that this is book 2. It's clear that before even book 1 was released that the authors had a complete idea of the story each book would tell.